Does Online Dating Really Work?

by Admin 11. April 2010 15:16

The world is becoming increasingly more dependent on technology. We use our computer to do our banking, shop for gifts, keep in touch with our family…and find people to date. Online dating has seen a huge leap in popularity over the past ten years. Huge databases of singles’ profiles exist on some of the biggest dating sites like eHarmony.com and Match.com.

But do these dating sites really work? Can you expect to meet someone special online? In a word: Yes. Consider these statistics:

  • 31% of adults in America say they know someone who has used an online dating service. (Source: Pew Internet & American Life Project Report: Online Dating, March 2006)
  • Online Dating Magazine estimates that more than 20 million people visit at least one online dating service a month. (Online Dating Magazine - 2007)
  • Online Dating Magazine estimates more than 120,000 marriages a year resulting from online dating. (Online Dating Magazine - 2007)

If you are sitting on the edge of the pool debating whether or not to jump in—now is the time! There are hundreds of dating sites; some of which are general purpose and others cater to people with specific interests—religion, ethnicity or income level, for example. Take your time to explore some of the sites and find the one that looks most comfortable to you.

Take care to fill out your profile as honestly and completely as possible. Many people have fallen into the trap of lying on their profile, putting old pictures of themselves before they gained 20 lbs., or making claims about their job/education/goals that turn out to be untrue. This is just setting yourself up for failure. You must have the confidence that there is someone out there who will love you for who you are.

Once you make a connection on your dating site, try chatting with the person online and on the phone before you commit to an in-person date. When you finally do make a date, be sure to meet the person in a public place. Do not give away anything personal like your address or financial information. And be sure to let your friends and family know who you are meeting and when you’re expected back.

Online dating is easy and fun. Take the leap and try it out…you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

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Better Late Than Never

by Admin 3. February 2010 15:54

new years resolutions For this blog post I really wanted to revisit my new years resolutions and see where I was at so far.  There's a notebook I always keep with me in which I continuously write down my goals, ideas and dreams, and after the new year had already been rung in, Shawn actually had to remind me to write down my goals (resolutions) so I wouldn't forget them.  So I missed the actual deadline but better late than never right.  Upon some gentle urging, here is what I came up with:

  1. Healthier body and mind
  2. Make an effort to be more social
  3. Make time for more intimacy
  4. Debt free by end of the year
  5. Visit British Columbia

So just about everyone and their dog always has some version of goal one on my list, but I went a step further and added the "mind" to mine because I feel the two go hand in hand.  I don't know if you can truly have a healthy body without having a healthy mind.  I'm happy to report that I have really been working hard on this goal.  Exercising my body has become somewhat routine with five Zumba classes a week coupled with strength training and stretching.  I keep telling myself I'm going to try yoga again, and so far that hasn't materialized.  Maybe that's the link between mind and body I really need right now. For the mind part...I feel like I've done a better job so far this year at learning to control those thoughts that are always churning in my head.  I know you know what I'm talking about.  When you're laying in bed at night going over that meeting you have in the morning or you're driving your car and going over that grocery shopping list...that's the noise in your head that seems to run on autopilot.  A healthy mind in my opinion means being able to control those thoughts and turn them off at will.  What I've done is incorporate an easy version of meditation and try to create a relaxed atmosphere at home for at least two hours before I'm scheduled to jump into bed.  So far so good and it's made a huge difference in my sleep patterns and calming the head chatter that usually goes on during the day.  Reading "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle has also helped greatly and I'm appreciative of that.

People that know me well know that I'm shy by nature, and that's why Shawn and I make such a great couple.  He's the exact opposite of me, a true social butterfly.  My goal of being more social is tied to goal one because I find it hard to feel terribly comfortable in a social setting when I'm worried about how my body looks.  I mean that's true with intimacy too.  I've noticed that when I'm in shape and I feel good about my body...I'm much more willing to put on that slinky dress or sexy piece of lingerie.  Shawn would love nothing more than seeing that more often than he does, and making him happy makes me happy so the gym has been seeing a lot of me lately.  

One thing I commonly hear from other couples, especially ones where children are involved, is that they have to literally schedule "date nights", which means they are actually scheduling their sexual escapades or sex just doesn't happen.  Shawn and I lead busy lives so this rings true with us too.  I have to admit that I've been a little lazy with this one, hence my goal of making more time for intimacy is on the list.  There's been no argument from Shawn on this one to date.

Living debt free has been a goal of mine for many years because I feel like it's a real burden that can cause so much worry, pain and anxiety not only in a relationship but on a personal level as well.  It seems like in this society as soon as you get a pay raise, you get a debt raise with that new house or new car and it turns into this never ending cycle of always trying to repay your debts.  I'm trying something different here and working on getting myself out of the rat race and I can tell you it's truly exciting to think that we won't have that weight on our shoulders forever so so many Americans end up doing.

So why is visiting British Columbia on my list?  It's simple...it contains some of the most beautiful nature and wildlife one has ever had the privilege of laying their eyes on.  I'm obsessed with bears and for me, seeing one in person (not up close of course) is a soul healing experience for me, as is all nature and wildlife.  One of the best trips I've ever taken was to Yellowstone.  Knowing that a place like that actually exists and that I can visit it anytime I want really warms my heart and makes me feel all fuzzy inside.  Water has that effect on me too.  This goal is tied to goal one too in terms of healing the mind.  For me, nature has a funny way of doing that.  Maybe for you it's something totally different but I really encourage you to seek that out for yourself and incorporate more of it into your life if you can. 

Well, I'm glad I revisited my list and re-evaluated my progress and hope you make it a point to stay on track with your goals for 2010!

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What a Glorious Day!

by Admin 17. December 2009 07:53

I am so blessed to have someone like Shawn in my life! He is absolutely everything I could hope for in a partner.  He always supports me in whatever I do, he encourages me to chase my dreams, and he makes me believe I can do anything.  I don't know what I ever did to deserve such a guy but thank you for bringing him into my life because it has truly changed me for the better and showed me what real love is and what a happy relationship could be.  He sent me a message on facebook today and I just wanted to share it with everyone because it really made me smile: 

"Hey sweet thing, I wanted to formally invite you to the festivities for this evening. Furthermore, I want you to know that I am so very proud of you for what you are doing both in your business and your personal growth! I also want you to know that during any turbulence you experience during this period (pun intended), I am always here for you, and you can always talk to me. You are the love of my life, and I am eternally grateful for the gift of you! I would love to have you by my side this evening should you decide to come. Either way, I am looking forward to seeing and loving you this evening whenever it happens! Have a glorious day my love!" ~ Shawn

Our relationship has really inspired me to create WithLuv so that I can give back some of what I've been blessed with and create a place where we can all share ideas and personal stories in order to have happier, healthier relationships in our lives.

I wish everyone happiness and joy this holiday season!

Paula

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