How to Write a Dirty Letter

Everyone loves romance, but let’s face it—adult relationships are a little more than red hearts and teddy bears. Keeping up a healthy sex life with your significant other is simultaneously one of the most challenging and one of the most enjoyable parts of being in a relationship.

by Paula Hines

Challenging, because with all the worries and stresses in modern life, you have to make an effort to keep things spicy; fun because, well, sex is fun!

One of the best ways to keep your relationship movin’ and shakin’ is by surprising your lover with a dirty letter. I’m not talking about flowery language and chivalrous sentiments. I’m talking about explicit, private, and highly charged thoughts about your lover and what you’d like to do with (and to!) them.

While most of us have read sexy stories and dirty letters before in magazines or on the internet, writing one yourself is an entirely different matter. The bottom line is that you feel silly and even a little embarrassed writing this stuff down. These are usually thoughts that we keep in our heads or only talk about in the privacy of the boudoir. Seeing your fantasies down in black and white might make you feel like you’re exposing yourself. You also might be afraid that your partner will be shocked or laugh at your letter—and that can be a terrible feeling.

But the reality is that your lover will be thrilled to know you are thinking about him or her in this way. They will be flattered to know that you find them sexy even when you’re not in bed—or even in the same room. A dirty letter can be a great way to reconnect and the best part is that your lover will be able to keep it and re-read it again and again.

A couple tips for writing a dirty letter that inspires great passion:

  • Don’t write one unless you are already in a physical relationship with someone. It is only appropriate for someone you already know intimately.
  • Have fun with it, and don’t take it seriously. If you want to compare your wife’s body to a stack of waffles with maple syrup, go for it. If you want to compare your boyfriend to a Formula 1 race car, go for it. In fact, a little humor makes it even sexier and more personal.
  • Don’t use someone else’s words. The more individualized you can make it, the better. Refer to the other person’s perfume, hair color, body parts that inspire you, the sound of their voice, etc. You want your letter to convey your feelings about them and no one else.

Your dirty letter may require a couple drafts for you to feel comfortable, but don’t expect it to be perfect before you give it to your lover. Do your best, have fun, and be confident that they will have as much fun reading it as you did writing it.

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Comments (1)

  • PaulaH said,

    Anyone written any dirty letters yet?

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