A Relationship with a Widower or Widow

According to a website for widows and widowers, a poll conducted for answers to “if you are dating, what is the marital status of your significant other?”...

78 percent said they were dating a widow or widower as opposed to single people or divorcees. This brings to light the interesting reality that widows and widowers seldom look to singles or the divorced for a new relationship.

The sense of loss for a widow or widower is too great for somebody who hasn’t lost a partner to fathom. This lack of understanding is the main reason why widows and widowers are largely wary when beginning anew. This is especially true when the few who have had relationships with single or divorced people have experienced the urgency with which they are expected to ‘move on’ and forget about their departed partners. Such experiences have left them uncertain. They understandably need empathy and time to go through the various stages of bereavement. Only somebody who has been through it could relate and provide the added support.

Though it is sounds just right that widows and widowers can make a better couple as they both have ‘been there and done that’, it is not an easy task. As opposed to a widow with a single man, when you are with another person who is grieving, the bereavement period may never end. Both of you will have your own sets of loss and grief and since you faced it as well, may give each other too much time to dwell on it as well. A single person could pull you out of your grief; if not wholly, then enough to enjoy a relationship again. Two partners grieving together may potentially harm the relationship. A relationship with a widower or widow should be based on interests, love and understanding and not just the need to be in similar emotional states. It can be quite a challenge to focus a relationship on grief and with two sets of anniversaries and birthdays, the issues and emotions arising from the doubled loss would hinder any move towards a healthy partnering.

Contrary to popular belief then, singles can help you get over your grief as well and there are numerous examples of happy ever afters. As long as you remain positive and optimistic about your new relationship with a widower or widow, offering a ‘no holds barred’ approach to expression of grief, your partner will definitely extend the support and emotions you seek. Be cautious about narrowing your choices while dating and you may be surprised to find a compassionate partner who may have a heart big enough for you, your departed partner and your love for the partner as well.

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