Compromising on Religion and Relationships

When in a relationship, there are many issues that can possibly cause tension.  Money and sex are among the top contributing factors to problems within a relationship.  However, religion also takes top billing as one of the primary relationship issues that can occur.  This is especially true once there are children involved and there are conflicts as to how they should be raised.  There are also moral and ethical choices that are made within a relationship that could be conflicting if both parties have different views.  Because religion is such an influential factor in someone’s life, many people are less prone to compromise than with other issues.

Before getting into a serious relationship or marriage it is important to discuss one another’s religious beliefs and how it affects their lives.  There are religious beliefs that will affect how a relationship or marriage will be structured and how it can grow.  Some people will not be willing to get into a physically intimate relationship until marriage based on their religious beliefs.  If this is something that can be dealt with, then mixing religion and relationships should not be a problem.  However, if this is a deal breaker, make sure you let that be known up front before there are too many emotions invested in the relationship or marriage.

Also, make sure you understand the extent of their religious activity and also that yours is known before having religion and marriage or religion and relationships.  If you or your potential partner has time or financial issues that will be expected to take precedence at times in the relationship, make sure this is acceptable.  For example, if tithing is a mandatory part of religious beliefs and this will affect the finances in the home, make sure to discuss this and that each party accepts how this will impact any income.  Also, if there are particular periods of time that must be devoted to religious study, worship or volunteering make sure this is discussed and accepted.

In addition to the financial, time and relationship boundaries that may be affected because of religion, there is also the issue of how to raise the children.  If one person feels strongly about religious upbringing in their particular belief system, make sure this is acceptable before getting into that situation.  Conflicts often arise when one parent disagrees with how the child is being raised in a particular religion and this can cause marital problems.  Open, honest communication is the key to understanding one another’s religious beliefs.  Ensuring there is an agreeable compromise when needed and acceptance of those beliefs is essential in maintaining harmony when mixing religion and relationships.