The Importance of Communication in a Relationship
Communication or better still positive communication is the key to any happy relationship.
Trust and affection keep a couple together and communicating these positive feelings to each other through words and gestures keep the relationship alive and happy. When the trust is lost, communication in a relationship often takes a back seat or is demanding, negative and defensive. Couples in conflict must make sure to interrupt their negative thoughts toward each other and replace them with positive or at least neutral thoughts and attitudes.
Usually a conflicting couple gets caught up in the vicious cycle of abusive remarks, blames and accusations. It is important to leave the “I” behind and discuss the hurt in order to remedy it. Use the “I” instead to communicate hurt and betrayal in a fashion that does not attack or accuse. So instead of saying “you are thoughtless!” try saying, “When you did not come to pick me up, I felt you do not care anymore”. The way you frame the sentence plainly shows whether you are accusing or you are stating your hurt feelings. The second dialogue is bound to be heard in a different light and get a more beneficial response in the example. An attack usually triggers a similar attack from the partner and it turns soon into a battle!
A healthy relationship includes forgiving each other’s mistakes and keeping an overall favorable impression of your partner. You know your relationship is in trouble when you have begun forming negative impressions of your partner and the trust has degraded. Consequently, you tend to turn simple complaints and observations into a general exaggerated conclusion. So if the boyfriend forgets to put out the trash, do not fall into the temptation to shout out “you never care for anybody but yourself”. This will only result in some accusation being shouted back. Advice from third parties such as therapists regarding communication in a relationship can help you reach a level of communication where you can get your relationship to work again.
Therapists can help you save your relationship by teaching you these effective communication tools and also offering to help you understand each other. An informed opinion by an outsider on why your partner is acting a certain way can help you interpret words and actions much better. So, communicate well in your relationship and if you still can’t get to a positive life together, reach out for a relationship therapist to iron out your differences and start fresh.