Secrets for a Successful LD Relationship

What you need to know to survive a long distance relationship in today's modern world.

By Paula Hines

Throughout the ages lovers have been separated by distance. Today you may be forced to live apart from the one you love for any number of reasons: different universities, military service, or simply falling for someone who lives in another area. A lot of people will tell you that a long-distance relationship is not possible, but I have seen couples overcome the physical separation and keep the flame alive until they can be reunited.

Obviously the most important element to any relationship is communication. Extra effort has to be made in long-distance relationships, because it becomes even harder to express yourself when you’re using just a phone or email. Misunderstandings can be difficult to clear up when you aren’t able to look the other person in the eyes. Regular, honest, expressive communication must take place if both parties are going to maintain a sense of trust.

Remembering important things like birthdays and anniversaries are vital when you are at a distance. Be sure to use a calendar to remind yourself if you are the type who lets dates slide by. Sending gifts, flowers, cards, and care packages can go a long way to helping someone feel loved even if you can’t be there in person to share their celebration.
Couples need to make every effort to get together on a regular basis. Those weekends or holidays when you can spend time face-to-face with the person you love are what will keep you both going when you’re home alone during those long weeks and months.

Thanks to modern technology, staying in touch with your long-distance lover is even easier. Email lets you send messages and photos instantly. You can even take advantage of video conferencing, which lets you talk to the other person in real time while seeing a video of them on your computer screen. Cell phones let you contact your loved one any time, regardless of where you are—which means you don’t have to worry about missing a call when you go out to take care of business.

There is no big secret to long-distance relationships. The key is to have a commitment from both people and for each of them to be honest about their feelings, fears, and needs. It is difficult not to be able to hold the person you are in love with each day, but real love is more than just a physical connection.

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