Why Affairs in Relationships Happen
It is no secret that if you are in a serious relationship, having affairs can destroy it and hold some dire consequences for all involved...this article includes advice on why this happens in the first place.
In addition to the destruction of the relationship, there can be familial consequences, religious guilt and social pressures surrounding the affairs. Most people will agree that relationship affairs are bad. So, the question is, why do people have affairs? This is a question people have been asking for years. The answer is not so simple, though because there are about as many reasons for having affairs as there are people who have them. Each person’s reasons are unique. However, there are a few trends that can be examined.
Many people who have had affairs in relationships cite boredom or dissatisfaction within the relationship of their long term partner. However, they are unwilling to break it off with the person. Most likely, the reason is not serious dissatisfaction with the current relationship but a desire to get back the feeling of elation that occurred in the beginning of the relationship. Everyone remembers that feeling when you first started dating. It is exciting and titillating. However, as a relationship develops and you share your lives together that feeling dissipates and is replaced with feelings of security and contentedness. Having relationship affairs will often bring back that new relationship feeling.
It is more prevalent in men than it is in women but sexual conquest is a factor in some affairs. Research shows that the majority of affairs are based on emotional needs not being met as opposed to sexual. However, there are cases in affairs where this is the opposite. Sometimes one partner has a higher sex drive than another. Other times it is simply difficult not to give in to temptation of affairs. It can be flattering when a member of the opposite sex, who is not your current partner, finds you attractive. The allure may be too tempting to ignore and thus a partner has affairs.
Sexuality is a reason some people have affairs but the vast majority occur because of emotional needs not getting met by the existing relationship. The question remains, though, are the emotional needs actually not getting met or are the expectations unrealistic? With all the media attention, movies, theater and novels portraying the intensity of love and passion, perhaps as a society we start to expect that within a relationship at all times. Realistically, though, the odds of that occurring over a lifetime are pretty slim.
Nobody disputes how damaging relationship affairs can be to everyone involved. The vast majority of people who have been involved with affairs in relationships experience sadness and guilt in profound degrees. However, affairs still occurs quite often. Perhaps if we, as a society, are more aware of the trends and have more realistic expectations about our existing relationships, we will see the number of affairs drop.