Fighting with a Spouse
Fighting and Staying Healthy Together
You might acknowledge the emotional benefits of fighting with a spouse vis-à-vis strengthening your marriage by helping you stay connected. Did you know, however, that fighting with a spouse can be beneficial to your physical health, too? This is the surprising albeit welcome results of a study conducted by the University Of Michigan School Of Public Health in cooperation with its Psychology Department. But don’t sharpen your claws just yet just so you can apply the health benefits of fighting with a spouse!
According to the study, it is healthy to recognize that you are being attacked unfairly, healthier when you speak up about it, and healthiest when you try to resolve the problems brought to the fore when fighting with a spouse. The result: longer lives for both of you.
You have neither rhyme nor reason, however, to look for ways towards fighting with a spouse for its health benefits when you feel like being a couch potato for the day! You will be defeating the purpose of the exercise in relationship if you do.
Instead, you can learn to play fair when fighting with a spouse to get the maximum health benefits. his way, you can have the best of both worlds – strengthen your marriage on the emotional level and lengthen your physical lives. Here are some tips you can apply:
• Focus on the issue at hand when fighting with a spouse instead of dredging up past crimes and gripes. You have to speak up about the things that bother you in the here and now instead of keeping mum. Otherwise, you will be building up resentment and anger that can cause explosive tempers the next time you start fighting with a spouse.
• Avoid nagging when fighting with a spouse, especially when said spouse is unresponsive to your rants. You have to keep in mind that with less talk, you commit less mistakes and utter less hurtful words. Instead, you can restate your positions such that you use “I” statements more than “you” statements.
• If possible, you can inject humor whenever things get too tense and too intense too soon when fighting with a spouse. You will feel more relaxed without necessarily laughing at the feelings of your spouse. Besides, isn’t it said that laughter is the best medicine?
The best advice when fighting with a spouse? Always tell him you love him and you are willing to work through your problems together, with his love. When you do that, you can truly work towards fulfilling your vows of staying together in sickness and in health, till death do you part.