How to Stop the Fighting in a Relationship
Do you dread coming home to your partner because you are anticipating what new argument you will get into today?...
Is there tension in the household because all it seems like you do is fight? You are already well aware that this is not a healthy way to live and have a relationship. But once you are drawn down this path it can be difficult to get off it. So, how is it done? How do you stop the fighting? It first starts with you. You need to figure out your role in the fighting and resolve to change. Then, you need to sit down with your partner and have a serious heart to heart and make a plan to stop the fighting together.
The first thing that needs to happen is to determine why you are fighting. Are you nitpicking to each other about insignificant little things or are there serious issues within the relationship that need to be addressed? If all you are doing is picking a fight or engaging in a fight about the little things, you need to figure out why. Did you have a bad day, are you stressed, did something else happen to anger you? These things can be addressed by recognizing them and making a concerted effort not to bring outside pressures home with you. This is more like a bad habit than a serious issue but one that can get out of control very quickly.
Are there actual serious issues that need to be addressed? If so, you need to have a rational, calm conversation with your partner and discuss how to fix the issues. If you are already fighting, though, this can be difficult. You will either need to resolve not to raise your voice to one another and place blame or to get professional assistance so a third party can help mediate. There are two reasons why people fight. One is that there is an actual issue and the other is a behavioral issue that tends to make any small thing a volatile situation.
Both need to be addressed. You both need to make a commitment to discuss instead of yell. You both need to make a commitment to plan on how to fix things as opposed to simply pointing fingers. If there are more serious issues, this will be imperative. You will need to sit down and discuss issues and come up with a mutually acceptable plan of attack.