Adding Children to a Marriage
Thinking about adding a new baby to your marriage and are in a shear panic? This article is definitely for you!
by PaulaH
Are you getting parenting fever and starting to think about having kids together? The first thing you should do when making that decision is to find your closest friend who has the youngest child. Volunteer to watch the child and let them have a night out on the town. After all is said and done, do you still have that urge? If so, then you get to start the fun part. Making the children can certainly be the most enjoyable aspect of adding children to a marriage but it does not end there. You do need to know what to expect and how to keep your marriage happy while you are raising the kids.
Kids are a big responsibility and financial concerns are definitely a part of that. Make sure you have a sound financial plan you both agree on for handling medical expenses, daily expenses, child care and college savings. Talk about it thoroughly, make your plans and stick to it. You will also need to discuss child care and whether or not one of you will stay home with the kids or if you will invest in day care. This is both a financial and an emotional decision so talk about both aspects of it.
Religion and child rearing philosophies are another part of adding children that should be discussed. Make sure there is an equitable division of care and discipline between the two parents and that your discipline philosophies can be agreed upon. If you plan on raising the child a certain faith, make sure this is agreeable to both parties and discuss how that will be accomplished.
There are financial, emotional and practical considerations to discuss when considering adding children to the marriage but there is also an aspect you should not forget about. You should remember that you are a couple and you still need to work at your marriage. Do not make the child the center of your world. Instead, make sure you have plenty of opportunity for alone time and romance. Of course spending time with your child is important but it is equally important the two of you as individuals and jointly as a couple don’t get lost in the mix. Remember that kids grow up and if you turn to one another one day and barely know each other, what will you have to talk about? Keep the marriage alive and enjoy the experience of raising children together.