Heartbreak After Divorce
You don't have to put your life on hold after divorce. We included this article to help you or others get past the pain of divorce.
by PaulaH
When you meet the person of your dreams, you wish it were for life. All the childhood fairy tales we read about the happily ever after love stories come flashing by. No doubt then when we are nearing a divorce, the heartbreak is absolute!
A spouse is not merely another person in our lives; a spouse is somebody who is your soul mate in the real sense. There are no secrets, desires, aspirations and hopes hidden from your spouse. You have lain open your heart and soul to that one person, you have had children with him and had often dreamed of old age together. His tears, family and joys had become equally yours to embrace and no doubt it is not easy to let go.
Perhaps the death of your relationship makes you look at reality and life from a broader perspective. The heartbreak is that of a funeral; the funeral of your relationship, your home and your family. We indeed need some rare amount of self discipline to be able to take it in stride and move on in life. We begin thinking intellectually of the reasons behind the demise of the love bond, however if you sit still and allow it to sink in, you will realize just like marriage and love had no reasons, divorce and break up may have no valid reasons either.
The first few months are bound to be the most difficult. After a ten or twenty year old marriage, it is natural to not be able to make your own decisions or eat or sleep alone. Conversations continue in the head with somebody who is not with you anymore. After all you shared more than just a home with your ex. He completed you and you are bound to miss him.
It is important you get over your heartbreak with close proximity to well meaning people in your life. Be around friends who understand you and family who will listen to you. What you need at this moment is help to get over it and begin life anew. It is also important to grieve for some time to allow for emotional healing. Being brave for the children’s sake does not mean not crying and grieving for the heartbreak. Grieving will only make your heart lighter and also help avoid any physical manifestation of this emotional pain. Discuss with your children the circumstances and without giving many details, answer their questions avoiding any negativity to get through to them.
Though a divorce is the most difficult time in anybody’s life, there is sufficient help available to deal with it constructively, positively and in a manner that it helps you grow!