How Divorce Affects Friends and Family
If you are going through a divorce, you are well aware of how this is affecting you. It is painful and difficult. However, what you may be unprepared for is the reaction of friends and family to the divorce...
by PaulaH
But, don’t be taken by surprise. Make sure you are aware that a divorce not only affects you and your spouse but also may have some significant impact on those who are close to you. Knowing how the divorce may impact others will allow you to be more fully prepared for dealing with the feelings and reactions of friends and family.
While you may expect friends to rally around you, this may not always be the case when you are going through a divorce. This is especially true for friends who were shared between the two of you. Consider some of the feelings your friends may have regarding the divorce. Some may feel disillusioned. They may have thought your relationship was the ideal one, a relationship to model their own after and feel bewildered that they could be so wrong. If they were wrong about your relationship, what does that say about their own? So, they may feel uncomfortable around you.
Mutual friends may feel like they have to take sides in order to be a good friend and it puts them in an awkward position. They may instead start avoiding you both. However, there may very well be those who take sides and will solidly align themselves with either you or your spouse. This may seem like a betrayal but it is likely coming from their desire to make a clean break of it themselves instead of having to put up with uncertainty regarding how they should act.
Family members may be close to your spouse and may not understand why this is occurring. They may feel betrayed by your spouse for making you go through this difficult time. Likewise they may feel betrayed by you for allowing it to happen. Your spouse was also a member of the family and they will feel a sense of loss also. Religious beliefs may also come into play especially if you have a religious background where divorce is unacceptable. They may feel you, your spouse or both of you have given up unnecessarily and betrayed your religious beliefs. This can cause resentment and feelings of anger and disappointment. Understand where everyone is coming from and you can more easily cope with the effects of their reactions.