Intimacy Issues When Dating
Many of us have experienced intimacy issues with our partner at some point or another and for different reasons. We included this article to help you get past them and participate fully in something that is meant to be enjoyed by you and your partner.
by PaulaH
Intimacy means baring your heart, soul, mind and body to your partner. Though today intimacy has taken sexual connotations, it really includes all dimensions of our lives – physical, emotional and spiritual as well. Total life sharing is real intimacy in a relationship and it provides us the closeness and oneness we all hope for in our love relations.
Though we look forward to intimacy in our relationships, just at the critical moment we fear the tenderness and closeness. The closer you get to your loved one, the greater the fear of hurt and pain; this fear drives us away from them. We think we are not revealing our real selves from our partners to avoid the pain and betrayal we faced in another past relationship. But we forget that there is nothing like painless love and the more we keep our real desires and hopes a secret from the one we love, we are closing real communication in the relationship.
At one point or another everybody gets hurt in a relationship; you have to find the right way of handling that hurt and pain. When you do not give yourself entirely to a relationship, subconsciously you are trying to prevent any future hurt and betrayal. But in the process you are not being the real “you”, your aspirations, dreams and fears are kept secrets and it does not lead into a satisfying relationship. Therapists suggest dealing with the past in a fashion that it does not interfere with your present and future relationships. The best way is to forgive your exes and move on in the real sense of the word. When you move on in life, you do not carry any emotional baggage and this allows you start anew and build that trust in your new relationships.
Since sex and intimacy are intertwined in the modern world, this may actually cause problems. With today’s relationships where intimacy is sought at an early stage of the relationship, the morning after is usually a revelation of sorts. The lack of any intimacy makes us feel hurt and used and eventually ends up in a break-up. You find yourself in an unbalanced state searching for peace.
Give your new relationship time and effort, share your innermost feelings and thoughts with your partner as you continue to build faith and trust in the relationship. Once your hearts are open to each other, intimacy will naturally be present in your relationship.