In This Corner, A Relationship Winner
Getting together is one thing; staying together is another.
by PaulaH
The truth is, as much as we love the people we are with, relationships can sometimes feel like an institution no different from Alcatraz. What had been exciting in the beginning can feel suffocating in the long run. What had once been an adventure can feel like a boring run at the treadmill at some point. And for sure, suffocated and bored are two adjectives you would rather not grow old or share a bed with for long. So, how do you make sure your relationship lasts? Here are some workable and practical advice.
1. Go somewhere. Go alone.
A relationship should not feel like a life sentence. You are not being imprisoned; you are in love. So take a break from couplehood and give yourself some "me time". Pitch camp at a national park, go to a cabin by the woods, meditate, sign up for a karate camp. Whatever you choose to do with your time, remember that this moment is for you to remind yourself you are in the relationship by choice.
2. Surprise each other.
If work and your neighborhood can feel routine, so could relationships. After all, if you've been in one for three years and know practically how your significant other eats, talks, thinks, or smells, you might feel you are stuck in a rut, that the magic has fizzled. Do not let this happen. Inject something new into the relationship all the time. Bring her flowers. Buy chocolate body paints then ask him to paint you and, well, do what people usually do with chocolate. Being in love and staying in love is a joy; it should not feel like duty.
3. Laugh.
Learn to laugh at yourself and at each other. Humor may be the only thing that can save your relationship when all else fails. For example, when he has done something so bad (sleep with the babysitter, perhaps?) you're tempted to throw him out along with yesterday's leftovers, resist the urge to do so. Instead, look at him icily while he begs for forgiveness and say, "I don't hold grudges. I hold hammers. I am intimidating."
4. Talk.
Talk to each other about your hopes, issues, and dreams. Aside from getting to know each other better, this also gives you information you can use as leverage during your break-up or even divorce! I kid, I kid but not about talking.
5. Think of each other as a team.
Not just any team, mind you! Think of yourself as a SWAT team that shoots down bad guys, blows up syndicates' hiding places, and slap non-performing teammates bench-warming asses.
Remember, for any relationship to last, it must be one you can breathe in and grow into. Is yours one? If it isn't, take a step back, evaluate what you are doing wrong and can do better, improve what you can, accept what you can't - and be wise enough to appreciate each other's differences.