Emotional Intimacy
The Truth Behind Your Man's Emotional Intimacy Issues
by PaulaH
So your man has emotional intimacy issues, but do you know the reason why? The good news is it almost always has something to do with sex, so you can most likely do something about it (or at least, tolerate it). The bad news is he's not likely to tell you, not even under pain of death. Here are some facts about men that explain those frustrating intimacy issues:
Many men are addicted to pornography.
Some men would probably vehemently protest to such a statement, but the truth is porn is as much a part of their lives as their kidneys. This is because porn preys on their neurotic tendencies. Almost all forms of porn have the same components – a willing woman (or two, or three!), sweaty and dirty sex, and a hero with a gargantuan appendage that never seems to tire. These components are the roots of most men's desires.
Unfortunately, when left unchecked, emotional intimacy issues can wreck havoc on relationships. Women are not expected to embrace this reality, or even to acknowledge it. You are, instead, encouraged to ignore it, especially if it doesn't really affect your every day existence as a couple. However, if it's embarrassingly blatant and downright disturbing, a good, long talk and an honest evaluation of your relationship are in order.
Many men are insecure about sex.
Men, in all their seeming bravado, are actually rather fragile creatures. They're not going to admit it, but they are quite insecure when it comes to sex. Because it is ingrained in their systems that they have to perform well in order to establish their manhood, they are insecure about your past lovers and experiences.
Their egos are so fragile that hearing something they don't want to hear about their sexual prowess can cause great damage. Under no circumstances should you compare or even make references to your past. Most of all, never – EVER – admit that you faked orgasms with them at any point.
Many men don't know how to please a woman.
We know this, and they know this. But it doesn't mean that you're supposed to talk about it. Again, this is as ego-deflating as your ex's girth.
If your man somehow misses the spot, leaving you unsatisfied, don't just come out and say so. Rather, show him and guide him to those erogenous zones subtly but firmly so he won't miss the point.
Many men might feel rejected when you refuse.
Whether or not you really have a headache, men would feel like it's the end of the world if you say no to sex. They will always think that you're rejecting them because they can't give you what you want. You might as well kick them from behind while you're at it.
Of course, this doesn't mean that you're obliged to have sex with them whenever they feel like it. Instead of saying a resounding “No!”, try to use gentler language, maybe even flirt a little. You can also give them the promise of a raincheck and extra TLC (that's Tender, Loving Care, in case you didn't know). Most of all, cuddle up and be generous with kisses. Just because you can't have sex, doesn't mean you can't be intimate.
Indeed, emotional intimacy issues are simpler than what most women think. All it takes is a little consideration and a lot of understanding. By handling your man's intimacy issues well, you might just be surprised at how he'll respond.