How to Overcome Jealousy
Stopping the Green-Eyed Monster: How to Overcome Jealousy
by PaulaH
You’ve been there at one point or another in your life: you’re at a party with your significant other, laughing, having a great time…when suddenly your partner goes off to a corner and starts chatting and laughing with someone else. You feel the sudden urge to just charge on over and make a scene and make sure that your significant other understands just where you are coming from. You are in the clutches of the green-eyed monster, and while that diabolical creature does have a strong grip, there are several things you can do to get it off your back and get it out of your life.
Take a deep, calming breath, and a step back.
A lot of people say that a little jealousy is good for any relationship because it shows that you really care about the person…and they’re right. However, like everything that comes in moderation, jealousy becomes ugly and destructive if it gets out of hand. Often times, you end up hurt, confused, and embarrassed if you let it get the better of you.
Take this advice literally - take a deep breath.
This will allow you to calm down and let out the negative emotions that are clouding your judgment. Second, take a figurative step back and really assess the situation. Know whether or not there is something to be jealous over.
Be a fact finder.
Know what the lowdown really is of what is happening in front of you! Remember, the first soldier who gets killed in the war is the one who runs into the gunfire blindly. Be subtle and strategic and find out who the person your significant other is talking to and what they are talking about. Wouldn’t it be a good thing to know that he’s actually catching up with a cousin that he hasn’t seen for a long time, or buttering up her boss for a bigger payroll before marching over and causing havoc?
Trust!
Funny how the shortest piece of advice is both the one you have to work on the longest and is the hardest one to do. Jealousy is an issue of being insecure in your relationship and the only way to solve this is to have confidence, not only in your partner, but also in yourself. Find out what it is that you are really jealous of and remind yourself of what you and your partner have. Stop comparing yourself with the person that you’re feeling jealous of. Always keep in mind that she is one of many, while you are the only ONE.
Set your limits.
Of course, there are things that are just a little too much to ignore: a lingering touch, an appraising look, a gesture that's beyond what is acceptable. In this situation, it would still not be acceptable to declare war; instead, just go on over and calmly smile and introduce yourself to the person your partner is speaking to. Don’t be intrusive to their conversation; just position yourself in such a way that reminds both of them that you are there. Prevention is still better than cure, after all.
Enjoy yourself!
Remember that the healthiest and most stable relationships are not the ones where your world revolves around just you and your partner, but the ones where you give each other enough space to grow. Keep in mind that you still have separate lives from each other. Why not go mingle on your own? Find old friends and catch up, and maybe even make new ones. Chances are your partner will sooner or later reappear by your side, this time trying to recapture YOUR attention.
It's always better to come out on top in these kinds of situations. A calm, secure, and confident you is always sexier and more attractive than one who reeks of insecurity, fear, and jealousy. Just relax and enjoy yourself: it's a party, after all!