Friends After a Break Up
Wondering if you can still be friends with your ex after you just broke up? Keep reading to find out...
“But we can still be friends”. Those words have made people cringe for years. No matter who is on the receiving end, the thought of taking your intimate relationship down a notch and just be friends is not terribly appealing to most people. When there’s agreement to such a proposal immediately after a break up, it almost never means what it should. What it often means is “I will be happy to keep you in my life in hopes that we will get back together someday” or “I don’t want you but I want you to still want me” or even “sure, I can keep tabs on who else you are seeing this way”.
Now, being friends with your ex is definitely possible. Being good friends is possible. Being genuine friends is possible. But it is rarely, if ever possible immediately after the break up. There is simply too much emotional baggage going around to make a genuine go at a significantly changed relationship. What you need is time and distance. If you were meant to be friends, that will happen but now is probably not the time to attempt it. You can still be cordial. You can be polite and kind to one another, but make sure there is some emotional distance for the time being to allow you both to heal before embarking on another phase of your relationship.
It is important when breaking up to make a clean break. This ensures that there are no crossed wires or misunderstandings. The relationship is over. It is meant to be over. Let it be. Take some time to be alone or to hang out with your friends. Have some time to sort out your feelings and get past any lingering feeling you may still have for the ex. You can even start dating again when you are ready.
Once you feel like you have no more emotional attachment, wait a little longer. Just because you are ready does not mean the other person is. When the time comes, though, you can start some casual conversations and feel the waters. If you are both ready to acknowledge that while you are not going to have any romantic relationship it may be alright to hang out on occasion or talk from time to time. Start it off slowly, though. Do not get into a pattern where you are hanging out with your ex more than you are with other friends. It will progress naturally from there.