Breaking Up: Softening the Blow
When you know in your heart that the relationship won’t work, it will be tough but you know it's time to break things off.
The longer you hold on to a relationship that is destined to fail, the more likely it will hurt everyone involved. When you are absolutely sure breaking up is the answer, do it in as positive a way as you can. Even though you might be sad, angry, annoyed or whatever you are feeling...take the high road and don't be tempted to break up in a mean way. It certainly not easy on anyone so take your time and plan the break up so you can let the other person down softly and gently. You'll be a better person for it.
Break Up Tips You Should Keep in Mind:
Pick the right time and place to have a discussion. Breaking up with someone in a public place usually isn't a very good idea. The other person might feel humiliated and harbor resentment for a long time, and that's what you are trying to avoid here. Have some integrity and do so in a semi private or private area. If it is right before a significant holiday, have some heart and wait a few days before breaking up so the event is not completely ruined for your partner.
Make sure you know that breaking up is what you really want, then talk about it and make it final. Don't try and drag it out, allowing the other person to try to convince you otherwise. The time for fixing the relationship probably came and went, and if it didn’t happen then, it most likely isn’t going to happen now. Allow the other person some dignity, but make sure you stick to your guns. If you know breaking up is the right thing to do but then feel guilty after the other person is crying or pleading you may be tempted to postpone it. However, you know in your heart you are only postponing the inevitable and ultimately not following through with it would not fair to the other person.
Avoid accusations and anger. While the other person may feel betrayed and angry and lash out after the break up, try to control your emotions because you are ultimately only responsible for yourself. Remember that breaking up is difficult and if the other person didn’t see it coming, they may react negatively. Try to avoid retaliating by placing blame and being accusatory. Stay calm and focused, do it quickly and give the other person some time to assimilate to their feelings.
Remember...as the famous song states, “breaking up is hard to do”. It is not easy on either person in the relationship but there are ways to soften the blow by acting with candor and integrity. Get it over with as quickly as possible and make sure you do not fall into a trap of getting back together out of guilt. Remain calm and choose the correct place and time to discuss the break up. It is never painless but don’t exacerbate the pain by breaking up dishonorably.