Breaking Up with Someone
Are you in a relationship that is going nowhere? Are you fighting all the time? Is it just not working out? If you are having problems in your relationship and don’t see ho it can be fixed, or don’t want to fix it, it’s time to break up.
Unfortunately, knowing it’s time to break up and actually doing the deed are two very different things, aren’t they? Breaking up is never an easy task even if you know for certain it is absolutely the right thing to do. So, how do you go about dealing with a break up to make it as painless as possible for the both of you?
First, don’t procrastinate. Certainly it is something to be dreaded but the sooner you can do it, the better. Choose a time when neither one of you is distracted. Make sure it is in a private area as there is nothing worse than getting bad news when there are other people around who may see your reactions. Cite your case clearly and concisely without being accusatory. Be as unemotional as you can possibly be and try to avoid getting into too much of a back and forth as to why or how things can change. Make sure you break up in person. No emails, letters, phone calls or text messages. That is just cowardly.
Do not use a break up as a way to renegotiate your relationship. The time to do that was before the break up so make sure you know this is exactly what you want and stick to it, regardless. Be prepared for tears and anger but do not fall into the trap of becoming engaged in an argument of he said, she said. It takes two to make a relationship and two to break it so don’t let the other person’s reactions dissuade you from your goal. If it was not meant to be all you will be doing is prolonging the inevitable and it will be worse the second time around.
Be honorable. Make sure you are supportive and caring while maintaining your stance. Do not speak ill of the other person and take the high road even if the other person is bad mouthing you to others. Time will heal all wounds and this is no exception. Even if you can be civil or even friendly with the other person take some time for both of you to heal before spending too much time together post break up.