Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Breaking up with someone is never an easy task and we can help with that. Get some advice before you go through with it to save both of you some heartache down the road.

If you’ve sweated and agonized over whether or not breaking up is the right thing to do and have come to the conclusion that it is, the hard part begins. Breaking up with someone is not easy. You know there will be hurt feelings for both of you and perhaps some resentment and anger also. This is especially true if you really dislike confrontation. But you need to bite the bullet and get on with it. Delaying the inevitable will only make matters worse. But before you sit down with the person to break it off, consider a few tips to make it easier.

Never break up with someone over the phone, via text message or email. This is not only the tackiest thing you can do but it makes you look bad and is incredibly cowardly. Have the common decency to have a face to face meeting to explain your position. When you have that meeting, make sure it is done in a private or semi private place so the other person can keep their dignity if they get a little too emotional. Nothing adds fuel to the fire more than making a scene in public.

Be clear in your intentions. Lay out your issues without placing blame and let the other person know you have come to a decision. Whatever you do don’t be wishy washy about it. You are there to break up and the time to talk about fixing it was long before this. You have made your decision so stick to your guns. Getting convinced to stay together will only delay the break up and make it harder on everyone the next time. Be kind to the person. Firm but kind. This is not the time to tear them apart and list all their faults so they feel worthless. You are probably not the perfect person either.

Once the deed is done, move on. While it is OK to eventually have a friendship or cordial relationship, give it some time before approaching that option. You do not want to give false hope and you both need time to heal. The best way for this to happen is to heal apart and give it time. After you have both moved on if you run into one another and decide to be friendly, that’s fine. But make sure you do that only after you are sure all ties are completely severed.

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