Should We Get Back Together?

How many times have you broken up with someone only to ask yourself if you should get back together?  It's happened to us all and we can help you figure out if you should go back or not.

You have split up.  You have moved on.  You may even be dating other people by now.  But then he goes and calls you and he’s really sweet.  You start to wonder if you made the right choice.  Maybe this time will be different.  So, how is it you determine if you should get back together?  This is a relationship and in relationships there are no guarantees.  Some work and some don’t.  It’s possible you’ve both learned and grown.  It’s also possible you are both a little lonely and are sinking back into what is comfortable instead of moving on. 

Before you even think along the lines of getting back together you have to know whether that is something he is even considering.  Maybe he just likes hanging out with you and being friends.  Well, if that’s the case, you have your answer.  But if he is considering it and thinks it may be a good idea, there should be some serious discussions in your future.  What went wrong the first time?  How will it be different this time around?

It is very important to have that talk.  It is way too easy to fall back into patterns that occurred in the past and made you both miserable.  If it didn’t you’d never have broken up in the first place, right?  So talk about what went wrong and what you will both do to make it better this time around.  If you can come to some type of agreement and it feels right, go for it.  Perhaps what you both needed was some time to gain a little perspective on the relationship and now you are ready to commit fully. 

But a word of caution:  take it slowly.  There’s no need to go from zero to marriage.  Instead, start dating again.  Treat the relationship like it is brand new and you are starting from scratch.  You would be amazed how quickly you can discover if you will fall into the same bad habits by moving slowly and feeling each other out.  Talk a lot.  Talk about your dreams and your future together and occasionally reflect on what’s occurred so far.  Is everything feeling wonderful?  If so, that’s great.  Maybe this time around you will be successful.  Or, do you still have that little nagging feeling that this is not quite working out?  Trust your instincts in that case.  If you have doubts and don’t think it will work out in the long run, it’s better to make a clean break so each of you has time to heal and move on.
 

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